When I'm depressed
I scroll through the lives of others
Endlessly
Losing myself in their depiction
Of themselves

Surely something great must be happening
To someone else
On the other side of the world
Anywhere
But not right here

Stuck in a screen
They can't actually affect me
I just suck the joy
The newness
The progression

And go absolutely nowhere

The world is endlessly
Open
Opportunities fly in my face
And I beg my God to guide me
I know He knows my unknown

But it's absolutely terrifying

How do I etch the dichotomy of my soul?
To reconcile that inner demon
To tame the beast
I press on

Can I paint the cognizance of my being?
Am I the potter?
To mold cast iron
I am the clay

To what end do I harness the cacophony?
What decibel suits your fancy?
Shall we now dance?
Satisfied in your comfort

Is it a monster to be loosed?
Or a butterfly awaiting metamorphous?
Should the shit hit the fans?
Do you see my dilemma?
I would spare you from the mess

I have made my bed of tears
I lay in the warmth of my own filthy sorrow
And I am drowning.