Fumble

Yep, folks. I'm alive... no worries. I just take breaks from my hobbies every now and then. I've been on an exercise/work/actual life kick recently so the blog kinda faded.

The frozen (or not so frozen as of recently) north has been treating me well and while the fight for a regulated, sane life is still on, vast improvements are being made. Or so I'm told. It is funny how the more you learn about life the more you realize you don't know. After a fairly routine disagreement happened to go a little further south than usual, my mother and I were standing in the middle of our driveway and she just laid it out plain and simple: "Catherine, for as much as you think you know, you really don't know about much of anything." And as much as it kinda felt like getting punched at the base of the sternum, (try it sometime... it hurts) the direct, stinging truth of it took a pretty clean shot to that sensible part of the brain that somehow gets buried under ego and emotion while waging war with the parental unit, and stuck. I know it sounds harsh but it was said with love and harsh is usually what gets through my brick wall of stubbornness far enough to actually change my mode of operation.  I am realizing that it is a pretty hard thing to set yourself far enough aside long enough and consistently enough to actually learn a new behavior; to change your automatic reactions to daily life, or things that work against the direction of the grain in the wood you perceive to be correct.
So knowledge, wisdom... these things I have such minimal amounts of, and no idea how to obtain them. BUT! I have Proverbs! Proverbs 2:1-7 to be exact, "My son, if you will receive my sayings, And treasure my commandments within you, Make your ear attentive to wisdom, Incline you heart to understanding; For if you cry for discernment, Lift your voice for understanding; If you seek her as silver, And search for her as for hidden treasures; Then you will discern the fear of the Lord, And discover the knowledge of God. For the Lord gives wisdom; From His mouth come knowledge and understanding. He stores up sound wisdom for the upright; He is a shield to those who walk in integrity." 
So I fumble on blindly in life, seeking with eyes that are shut, screaming for aid with a voice that is broken, and yet thankful for a God who causes the blind to see and makes the dumb to speak.